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Help,

Kevin Polak དཀོན་མཆོག་བསྟན་འཛིན།
12 feb 2017
8 minuten om te lezen

Original 2017-02-11 Kevin Polak KheN

Dearfriend, Dear HeartBody,

If you know and feel what is going to happen in your life would you change things? This is a question I’ve been asking myself lately.

Being sensitive, seeing the truth and understanding nature makes life beautiful, this insight gives me the opportunity to help others especially those that dare to get close to me. But helping others comes also with a great responsibility, the responsibility of keeping my mouth shut. The responsibility of not helping to help.

But the reason why I was asking myself this question lately is based on my own life. I know what is going to happen and often even when its going to happen, should I still do it then or don't bother with it at all?

I remember I asked this question many years ago to an enlightened friend of mine. I asked him ’if you know the relationship you're in is gong to end in 2 years (he told me this), why would you still start the relationship, and can you actually give yourself fully to the other person, or are you somehow withholding yourself?’

He said ‘Even if I know, I still don't know’. I never understood him, but when I asked myself this question lately I understood what he mend. Thank you for that Javier, you must have known I would understand it one day.

Today I want to talk about Help and then in the sense of the urge we have to help others.

When you’re open and sensitive to the needs of others, without filling any unresolved emotion inside of you, wanting something in return or trying to show of, then it can be a beautiful thing. And I say 'can be', because there is one more thing to do.

Sometimes like most of you, I meet a beggar on the street, sometimes I give something and sometimes I don't. The question I was asking myself why do I give to one beggar with pleasure and why do I refuse to give to another beggar.

After reflecting inside myself, I realize that I have a problem giving to a beggar that is dramatizing and exaggerating its ‘poor’ situation.which is strange because i love drama...

I have seen 2 guys once, completely miss formed singing the whole day on the street, and just looking at them would make you sick. There are many more examples where the 'misfortunate' beggar is displaying his miss formed body. Now the question I ask myself is - and this might sound awful - did they do this to themselves or did someone do it to them to make them become a beggar?

How and why am I thinking this? Well I have seen a couple of documentaries about beggars. One of them was about how some people are mutilating others or themselves to become a beggar. Now why would you do that? Let me explain, another documentary was following a hunchback female beggar in London. They filmed her the whole day, and they calculated she was making about 2000 RMB that day. When she was finished, they followed her and at a certain point she took her costume off, washed her face and It turned out to be a very healthy and quite a beautiful woman. She opened the door of her Porsche and drove away. Now this makes you think. 2000 RMB a day times 30 days is 60000 RMB a month. That is more money then I make…. or probably more then most of us make. ans all she did was performing an act. I don't know many artists that can make so much, playing the same role over and over again without any lines.

This made me realize that some humans are deliberately playing on our ‘feeling sorry’ and ‘poor you’ emotions. And they make a very good living out of it.

Another time I went to visit a Buddhist temple in China and at the ticket office there stood a miss formed beggar. I had to laugh, laugh at the beauty and this smartass beggar. What better place to beg?. Imagine you're going to the temple to pray, to pray for life, your family and friends or yourself. You get your cash out to buy a ticket, and there he stands. What to do? Are you a noble righteous person? Is Buddha going to give you what you need if you refuse to help this beggar, aiaiai the dilemma, The dilemma the people must have been in, to give or not to give? That is the question. I was enjoying the emotions and the questions I felt people were asking themselves. But then I realized he was making in the 10 minutes I was standing in the cue about 30 RMB. 8 out of the 10 people gave him money and not just 1 RMB notes... Then my mind starts to calculate 30 RMB times 6 is 180 RMB an hour, the temple is open about 10 hours. That’s 1800 RMB a day. That’s 54000 RMB a month. That’s more the 600.000 RMB per year!!!! Do this for 10 years (6.000.000 RMB) and you can buy a good apartment a beautiful car and you're set for life. He had to do nothing for that just stand next to the ticket office showing off he missed an arm and smile while holding up his bowl.

I'm sure if I can do the math to what they make, others can too. Then you understand it’s a very, very profitable business.

By not helping you could improve this world. For example if no one would give money to beggars then there wouldn’t be people that are mutilating themselves or others to become a professional beggar.

But like I said in the beginning Helping others can be very dangerous too. What do certain beggars do with the money, buy drugs? die from it, get drunk? How is that helping them? We are just feeding their addiction, that’s not helping, that’s maintaining. Or maybe they buy a gun from your money and kill someone, are you then still a good person? Who did you help? Can you still feel good about your generous donation.

The first question is ‘Why are you giving?, to feel better about yourself, that you shared a bit of your fortune?. You're simply buying of your guilt and or want to feel better about yourself.

Imagine there is a blind man, and imagine you have the power to make him see. Would you make him see?

Probably you would. But why? To make you feel better? or to show off, Look what I can do? or because you really want to help him from your heart? most probably you will answer yes to one of the these questions.

And if you answered yes to any of them, then I tell you, you're a selfish person. Now you can probably understand and agree why I say you're selfish when its regarding to ‘if you do it to make yourself feel good or to show of’. But you might have some trouble understanding why you're being selfish if you just purely from your heart want to help and make him see.

The reason why you're being selfish is because it still has nothing to do with the blind man. Maybe he doesn't want to see, maybe he made himself blind on purpose to become a beggar, and you know by now they make a fortune, now he needs to find a 'real' job... There are so many questions and reasons that you don't know. You assume that he's handicapped based on society, your filters and that he must have a bad and difficult life, and you, who has the power to make him see can improve his life.

Did you ever ask yourself the question to why is he blind, what is it that he doesn't want to see or can’t see in his own life. Who are you to play GOD, while you have no idea what the bigger picture is. Maybe by making him see, you take away his Karma for this life and now he has to come back again for another life.

You might ask yourself, so if I have this power I can never help others?

Yes you can and you should. But first you have to check why do you feel you need to help? For who? For yourself? Does the other person really want to be helped?

What to do then if you would have the power to make the blind man see? If you have this power, you should say to the beggar, 'I have this power, come to me, tomorrow or whenever in the future, if you want to be helped'.

You see this changes the whole thing around. If the blind man indeed does want to see, he will come to you. He has time to think it over if he wants to be helped or not.

You might ask, but how will he know about me, how will he find me. Here comes the part where you need to trust life.

Those who need to or want to be helped will find you.

Remember in your own life, was there ever a situation that by change or luck you met some one or went somewhere? And that that experience has giving you something, something that you needed or wanted? Right! So trust life it will give you what you need, but you need to be ready for it, without forcing or wanting it to much.

Here comes the most difficult part in life, if you have any power whatsoever to help others, you can’t use it without being asked for it. You see, You know, You feel and if they don't ask you, let them fall, you let them get hurt. You might say, that is really selfish, and I say No, that is really generous and respectful. Because we have to learn from life ourselves from our own experiences. Yes, you might know the boyfriend of your daughter is completely wrong and that she is going to get hurt. You be quiet, you don't say anything. You don't disapprove, because the more you will disapprove the more she will want to stay with this boyfriend, maybe just to upset you…. you wait and wait. And if or when this person is breaking your daughters heart, then you have to be there, to comfort her. But you can never say, ‘I told you so’, or ‘I knew'. Because that has nothing to do with being there for your daughter and her pain. That is making yourself smarter, wiser and in power again.

So ask yourself why do you need or want to say those things, why do you need or want to protect others? Why are you taking away the lessons of life away from others? Why are others not allowed to learn?

So to conclude helping others is most times actually helping yourself and has nothing to do with the other(s). so next time you feel you need to help or protect someone ask yourself first, for who are you doing this? Does the other(s) really want my help? So ask before you do.

Ask permision, love, laugh, cry, live, live with Body and Heart, live fully, feel fully, touch fully, love fully, Be. Be one, be full, be One-body, Be a HeartBody.

Hug,

དཀོན་མཆོག་བསྟན་འཛིན།

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