Cheating
Dear friend, Dear HeartBody,
Last time we talked about orgasms, that it's a way to experience a moment of enlightenment. To make you realize that sex is something beautiful, that it's Love. How can you be ashamed about sharing love and creating life.In Buddhism there is a word Dharma, it means the turning of the Wheel of life. There are 3 or 4 turnings. Most of us know about the first one, which is said to be done when Buddha gave his first insight after he got enlightened. It's called 'the four noble truths' and 'the eightfold path to end all suffering'. The second turning is revered to 'The perfection of wisdom' and said to be created by Nagadjami 500 years later. Now the third/ fourth one, deciding on which direction of Buddhism you follow or believe is Tantra, or also known as the Kama Sutra. Before I continue you need to understand that Tantra and the Kama Sutra are not about different sex positions. It's about ' Exchanging Love' because Exchanging Love is a way to enlightenment.
Did you realize that when you have an orgasm, you're tensing and contracting all your muscles. Next time when you feel your orgasm coming try to relax, try to relax all your muscles, don't contract. This will extend your orgasm for a longer time to float on this wave of pleasure, of non ego, of no mind, of pure ecstasy, of life. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, let me explain:
For women, try to imagine you're breathing out of your womb, that you're opening your womb, being completely relaxed, and that you breath out in relaxation through your womb. Completely opening and relaxing. You will discover that your orgasm will stay for as long as you can relax and enjoy this feeling.
For men, it's the same idea, but instead you breath out of your mannhood, relaxing your hips, don't contract while you're thrusting, don't contract the muscles in your manhood, relax, like you're opening your anus. You will discover that you as a men can also enjoy a longer orgasm. The feeling before the explosion will extend longer and longer the more you relax. It will go all over your body. Like waves of pleasure.Now reading this you might start to wonder how is this related to the topic cheating?
Right, if you have experienced or are going to experience this feeling, you start to realize that through the other HeartBody, you are actually connecting to everything, to all, losing yourself, your mind and ego. Where you become one with the other body, there is no Male or Female anymore, no penis no vagina, just one body connected to eternity. To life. Through the other to yourself, through yourself to the other.
So when you're Exchanging Love, you're actually connecting to your most inner-self.
Does it then matter how beautiful, tall, short, fat, thin, ugly the other is or you are? It's just the mind making these comparisons, it's the mind telling you what you like, what turns you on. So when you have had the experience above with one partner, then why after a while you're looking for 'another' partner. Because you know yours by now, or they haven't given you this fulfillment yet? It's just another kind of fruit, but the essence, the result in the end is fruit. No matter if you taste an apple, pear, watermelon etc. they all look different, they all taste different, but in the end it's fruit. Fruit is fruit.You eat it, and you lose it. Every Man & Woman are different, they taste different and look different but an orgasm is the same, they might feel different, be short or long, but an orgasm is an orgasm, its an explosion, an eruption, it's a moment of nothingness, a moment of being with yourself, being and feeling part of all, of existence. It comes and it goes. It can't stay, but it can always come.
So cheating is nothing other then connecting to yourself, connecting to life through another body. So how can it be cheating, you can't cheat on life, you can't cheat on an orgasm. Only the mind can think of cheating and loyalty. To be very clear I'm not giving you an excuse to go on 'cheating' saying, KEVIN said there's no cheating.
I'm saying that you will not feel the impulse to be with some-one else then the one you have chosen to be with for this moment. The one through who you have had this experience.
It's your mind that starts thinking, mmmmm great ass, beautiful breasts, he's such a sweet man, he or she is so hot. Compared to what, to whom? In the essence we're all the same. It's our Ego that defines us, makes us behave or fantasize.
So cheating doesn't really exist, it's a concept a word created by our mind. Saying 'you're mine, you're my possession.' How can anything be yours or mine. How can your husband or wife be yours, how can your children be yours. Nonsense! ( non-sense) it makes no sense. It's called possession, like the other is a 'thing' that you can posses. Whatever you posses, you will lose, what you don't posses you is there forever. Be very aware, that when you posses the other, you take away the freedom of the other. Whenever you take someone's freedom away they will at some point start to hate you, no matter if it's a lover, friend or child. Possessiveness is taking away Freedom and leads to hatred.
How can Exchanging Love be cheating, cheating on what? On who? How can we judge who is Exchanging Love to who, how can we condemn creation, love, the essence of everything.
If you haven't had this orgasmic experience, then ask yourself the following questions: do you think sex is dirty?, that it's a sin?, it's something dark and has to stay a secret?, you don't talk about it. If there is any yes, start investigating why? Who told you? What happened to you? Who broke this trust, this purity?, and why are you still bothered by it, why are you giving it so much power? is this good for you?The next step is accepting your body as it is, love it, every inch of it. If you can't, ask yourself, why not?, who told you or made you believe otherwise?, To what or who are you comparing?
Once you accepted that sex is beautiful and natural, and that you love every inch of your body, start investigating with your own body. First alone, discover what you like, play with yourself. There's nothing to be ashamed about. Go explore, if you accepted, then there's No Shame, if there is still shame, then there's something not accepted.
Then when you know yourself, communicate with your partner in a loving way, tell each other what you like or want, give signals, if something feels good make sound, if it doesn't feel good, say in a gentle way that it hurts or feels bad. Communicate discover each other. Make love, lots of love.
How can a relation be maintained if you stop Exchanging Love.
Exchanging Love, Make Love, laugh, cry, live, live with Body and Heart, live fully, feel fully, touch fully, love fully, Be. Be one, be full, be One-body, Be a HeartBody.
Hug,
དཀོན་མཆོག་བསྟན་འཛིན།
